I have to wash you out of my hair

1/22/2014

As I lie down, I try and forget the inevitable, I try to look as happy as I can, I try to be the perfect girl he thinks I am, all to make him happy. I try to forget that tomorrow I will have to wash him out of my hair, I will have to squeeze him out of my bones, I will have to scrub him out of my skin–over and over again.

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I swore we’d last forever

2/5/2014 For Karen

Do you remember
Way back in highschool
One day we just wanted to be
Something more than friends
At the time it felt like the best thing
I swore we would last forever
You swore if we didn’t, nothing will change

Time passed and we grew older
Each day our time grew shorter
I never even saw it coming
I still swear we would be together
You didn’t assure me anymore
At the time it felt alright
You told me nothing has changed

One day we just stopped talking
I still thought we would be alright
I waited for your call
I was growing tired and worried
I’ve known then something’s wrong
Still I swore we’d be together

A week passed before you called
Said you didn’t feel it anymore
Said I wasn’t enough anymore
I thought you were just tired
I told you we can take a break
I was so tired and so afraid
Still I swore we could fix this

One night you called to tell me
There was somebody new
I couldn’t believe what I heard
Didn’t we swear we’d be forever?

Time passed and we grew older
Each day we grew apart
I swore we’d last forever
At the time it felt like the best thing
You swore if we didn’t, nothing will change
At the time we thought we had it figured

But we didn’t last forever
And everything has changed
I swore I’d be strong
Swore one day I’ll forget you
At the time it seemed impossible
Still I swore I’d try

Every day when I wake up
I still remember you
But each day I’m growing stronger
Each day I’m growing happier
And at night before I go to bed
I stop the tears from falling
Instead I tell myself I have to be brave
Because tomorrow is a new day
Tomorrow will make me stronger

(This is something that I wrote about my friend)

As uncertain as okay

2/4/2014

“I’m falling asleep. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay?”
“Okay.” I wanted to tell him so many things, like how happy I am of this little thing that we have and how much I love these late-night talks with him. I almost told him, but I was afraid I’d slip and tell him that I have fallen for him. So instead, I said okay; which was about as uncertain as what we have between us.

Goodbye April, Hello May

NaPoWriMo is over, but I’ll still definitely try my hardest to post my writings here. I wasn’t able to write 30 poems for the month of April, mostly because I started too late, but there’s still next year and I’m hoping I’ll do better next time 🙂

P.S.
Thanks to everyone who had been liking my poems and to the people who followed me. It means a lot to me. ❤