5/15/2015 Give me something for those days

Please give me something to hold on to
For those days when I don’t feel real
For those days when I can’t be alone but need to be
For those days when I don’t feel like living

Please give me your heart,
Your soul, your warmth,
If it isn’t too much to ask,
Please give me yourself

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9/26/2016 Where are you? I’m still waiting here

Didn’t you say that we’ll figure out this life together?
Coffee in hand, talking about the good things in life

Didn’t you say that I was like a soul mate to you?
That you loved me, unlike anyone you’ve ever met before

Didn’t you promise me that I never had to be lonely ever again?
“I’m here,” you said, “I’ll always be here.”

Didn’t I tell you to wait for me a little bit more?
I have a distant way of loving and I’m afraid I’d push you away

Where are you?
Why am I drinking this too-cold coffee without you?

Come back,
I’m still waiting here

10/4/2016 I loved alone

I loved alone
I was left alone

What should I do about this
This love thing
That gives me nothing but loneliness

I tried to love you
With my all
With my own distant way of loving

I hoped it would be enough
It wasn’t

I loved you
With my all—
But in the end, I was all alone

9/11/2016 You’re too cruel

You’re too cruel
I wish you’d just tell me
That you’ve grown to hate me
That I’m no longer worth your time
That I’d have to live without you
From now on
Instead of the sleepless nights I spend
Trying to figure out what I did
Trying to remember where things went wrong
Trying to understand why you left
Without a word

You’re too cruel
How can you disappear
Without any goodbye?

You’re too cruel
How can you leave me
Looking at the places we’ve been
Remembering the things we’ve seen
Listening to the songs we’ve loved
With an ever-growing hole inside

You’re too cruel
Aren’t you going to say goodbye?

Loneliness 3/22/2016

It’s alright
I’m far too used
To being alone
To even be lonely about it

It’s alright
I can look at the faint orange light
From the lone street light in this part of the neighborhood
Without feeling that all too familiar loneliness

It’s alright
I can lie on my bed alone
Surrounded by the darkness and the faint moonlight
Without any pang of loneliness

It’s alright
Leave and take every last memory with you
Leave me alone with my thoughts
And my loneliness

1/11/2015 You

You promised to give me the stars
On a night we spent admiring them
As they winked at us from above
Like how my heart flutters when I am with you

You promised to give me the sun
On a fine afternoon we spent watching it
As it sets with a spectrum of colors in the sky
Like an artist’s color pallette that wouldn’t even compare to the color you brought into my pallid existence

You promised to give me so much
Yet you failed to realize
That in the midst of all the promises
You forgot to give me the only thing I needed: you

10/10/2014 I wouldn’t know how

Maybe it’s better this way
You’re distant and unknown to me
Because I wouldn’t know
How to love you anyway

I don’t know what I’m afraid of
Is it love?
Or is it the thought of losing someone again?
Maybe even both

Maybe it’s better this way
You don’t really know much about me
Because I wouldn’t know
How to express myself to you anyway

I don’t know if I’ll ever get past
The point of being afraid
Maybe this is how it’s supposed to be
Maybe it’s for the best